Rahul G, The Dirty Picture & The Fool

Last week my younger brother Montu-the-Moron (henceforth addressed as MTM) went to watch The Dirty picture. In cinema hall he met Rahul G( Don’t read Gandhi, henceforth mentioned as RG), incidentally both of them were seated side- by- side. I am reproducing some parts of discussion they had.

Before I reproduce the parts of discussion, a disclaimer.

That it’s as narrated by MTM, entire narration can be either correct, or a work of imagination. It has no resemblance to anyone dead or alive, already born or to be born or could be & should be born. It intends no contempt to any religion; cast and creed (remember Kapil Sibal). It has no relation to citizens of Italy, India or any other country. It does not intend to promote Gay, lesbian or straight sexual inclinations of people. It does not have anything to do to any one who can get hurt by reading it.

Here we go.

As the movie proceeds MTM realises RG is sitting next to him and looses all interest in cleavage of Vidya Balan and is more interested in interacting with RG. I have already mentioned it has nothing to do with Gay’s.
MTM:- Hi! RG

RG:- Hummm ( Deeply engrossed in cleav… errr movie).

MTM:- Sir Ji have some chips Ji.

RG:- No thanx (is engrossed in fatty and flashy curves of Vidya).

MTM:- Sir Ji, say some thing.

RG:- we talk after cleava…. err movie is over.

MTM :- Ok sir jee.

Movie comes to an end and MTM is all exited to speak to RG.

MTM:- Sir Ji what do you think about condition of country.

RG:- I need to consult my mother to tell you that, after all I am aspiring PM of country.

MTM:- Sir Ji, Terror strikes happen every day, only yesterday 11 jawans were killed, country is in bad shape.

RG:- see terror strikes keep happening, Indian govt. Is in no control of terrorists, its Pakistan who controls terrorists, world knows.

MTM:- Sir ji, still corruption is at highest level.

RG:- you are wrong, only 8-10 scams should not baffle you. You see I have to control corruption at grass root level till the politicians become rich enough.

MTM:- sir 1.70 lac Cr….

RG:- why you guys worry so much about lacs of crores of rupees, one only needs Rs. 32 to live.

MTM:- Sir jee, Rs.28.

RG:- you know it?

MTM:- Sir jee what about snooze mode PM.

RG:- see..

MTM:- and indecisive president.

RG:- You are a dumb fellow, we are following Gandhian thought, thus, we have covered all our sensory organs, except for money sensing organs.
MTM:- sir..

RG:- we are imparting same skills to all in India. No one will complain then.

MTM:- Sir jee what about army.

RG:- Army is signing many deals, we will make good money. After all Swiss banks need a bail out.

MTM:- Sir jee, rapes…

RG:- we have a policy for every thing, people don’t follow. We have asked people not to move out of houses, still they move out. Govt can give you directions and you need to follow them.

MTM:- Si..

RG:- and few hundred rapes a day should not be a cause of worry in population of 1.25 cr.

MTM:- sir jee tell something about Kasab and likes.

RG:- gud u asked me this. Kasab is state guest and we are taking good care of him. The likes also become state guests as they are friends of Kasab.
Z + security arrives and MTM is thrown into crowd as RG drives away.
Pl don’t translate RG into Gandhi.


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