GENE HUNT

It was a lazy Sunday morning, I was trying to extend morning further more. Before going to bed I had switched off 5 am alarm on my hand held. I had had a brief discussion with God telling him I will be late in offering prayers to him on Sunday, He had kindly consented as well. Unfortunately alarm of my body clock went off and as always, I was fully awake at 5 am. Still, I lingered on in my bed and extended morning till six, my wife and daughter enjoyed deep slumber on the adjoining bed.

At 6 am screen of my mobile lightened up and an unknown number flashed upon its screen. Such early calls are usually associated with some bad news. My wife anxiously got up as I gestured at her that I did not know who it was and why. I picked up phone and a lady at other end spoke in unexpectedly charming voice. It was my old classmate (CM) with whom I had no contact since we finished studying together, my wife relaxed and tried to catch another forty winks.

My classmate straight away came to point without wasting much time. She wanted me to father her child through IVF. She should use her husband’s genetic material, I suggested.

CM- I am not married, and don’t intend to have an idiot around.

Me- Why idiot, you can marry a smart guy, after all you were most beautiful girl around.

CM- Men are never smart, all are idiots, though they might carry some good genes.

By this time my wife is getting bit uneasy.

Me- No you are……

CM – Stop it, let’s be back to topic. See while I need your genetic material, before you donate it you will undergo medical test for…..

Me- But I haven’t…..  (She snaps me half way my protest).

CM – Why I choose you is that you appear fairly intelligent and web page of your company profiles you like that, also I have been following you on the FB page, you behave less idiotically than other men. It indicates you might have best in class genetic material. Medical test just rule out disease. I want to be sure you think really the right way, for that you need to undergo psychometric test.

Me- But I haven’t agreed.

CM – Why shall you disagree at all, I am not going to sleep around with you, it will be IVF so it should not be a moral challenge for you. Also I have already hired a lawyer who will take care of other legal doubts you can have.

My wife by this time is visibly annoyed and is giving me angry stares, she goes to kitchen to boil a pot of tea.

Me – It’s fairly complex, like lending name to that kid, inheritance etc. (not knowing my wife is listening all this)

CM- Great you agreed, my lawyer will take care of that.

Me – No I haven’t agreed, I just enquired.

CM- That’s a good sign. You will be absolved of any liability that arises out of this birth. We won’t ever meet after the embryo is successfully placed inside my womb.

Me – Do we have a law around it, I am just enquiring.

My wife is staring at me with anger by now, I already know I am in for a bad Sunday.

CM- Don’t worry, it will be taken care of, I will arrange for your meeting with doctor, lawyer and the psychologist, we will meet then. See you.

Me – but I am not in for (call is already snapped) it and we can’t meet.

Wife- Who was this witch?

Me – My old class……

Wife- And must be your best friend also. @#$!@#$.

Me- No, I had forgotten her I don’t know much about her.

Wife- How she got your number, you must be going around with her and now you are planning this. I need to check your whatsapp and your FB account too.

ME- I don’t have her contact, she isn’t in my friend list as well. She might have found it from someone else.

Wife- Oh, so you are guarding secret very well. *&&^%$)#@. But you know all men are idiots, you won’t get away with it, and I will get hold of you soon.

Me- No….

It’s now noon.

Wife- *#!%$)@!

Me- …..

Its evening now

Wife- 8&^)$@!&^!@#()#$%

Me- &%#.

What happened to me after this is a closely protected secret.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Tanuj
    Jun 12, 2015 @ 14:29:39

    hahaha!!!!! anxiously waiting for the next part..!!!! So a fruitful takeaway from this anecdote… never pick up morning calls as the old Maxim’s never overturn’s..!!! black morning lest to say bhai..!!

    Liked by 1 person

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